5 tips for coping with COVID-19:

Over the last several months, we’ve all been through a lot as we cope with the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. We may have differing beliefs about it and how to manage it, but it remains the same that we are all impacted by it. I’ve seen a significant increase of anxiety with clients during my group and individual therapy sessions. We may not always call it anxiety, but label it more as worry or stress. Regardless of what we call it, the ongoing fear, anxiousness, feeling unsettled and unstable, and constantly wondering how we are going to manage, takes a toll on our mental health and quality of life. How do we manage all of this? How do we find a sense of ease and comfort, while our economy, family life, work, school, and regular daily routines have been so severely impacted?

So how do we cope with the anxiety and stress related to COVID-19?

1. Give yourself a break.

Are you exercising self-kindness? I’m guessing you are like me and have never experienced a worldwide pandemic before; therefore, it’s new and knowing how to deal with it, isn’t going to look perfect and it takes time. WE ARE ALL HUMAN. Are your expectations of yourself realistic? I encourage you to exercise some self-kindness and forgiveness, despite if yelling, anger, or frustration has increased. Stress makes it difficult to manage our emotions, and there’s definitely a lot of stress gong around these days. Take a step back, use some positive self-talk, and acknowledge you are doing the best you can today. Sometimes our best feels more difficult on certain days (or a lot of days!) – and that is ok! Be kind to yourself and understand we don’t have all of the answers.

2. Give others a break.

Are you exercising kindness towards others? I recently flew to Alaska and couldn’t believe the responses of people towards one another. People are scared, hurting, and unsure as to what is going on. How does our response help the situation? Exercising a little extra compassion towards others goes a long way during this time. We don’t know what others are going through, and although this does not give them the right to treat us poorly, a harsh response in return doesn’t help the outcome. Try a little extra empathy. Do something kind for someone else. How can you go outside of yourself and show someone extra kindness? Send a letter, an email, give a phone call, or find a doable pay-it-foward! Finding ways to be kind to others, gets us out of our own anxious thoughts and focused on something else! This can be an excellent healthy distraction to ditch the ongoing worry and anxious thoughts.

3. Take control.

OF WHAT YOU CAN. Realize what you don’t have control over and what you do! Focus on the things you do have control over, and manage those things! Attempting to control what we cannot, leads to frustration, anger, exhaustion, feeling “stuck”, and increases our feelings of “feeling out of control” even more. Look at what is going on in your life. What do you have control over? Some examples may be: Your routine, thoughts, behaviors/actions. Get up and build a routine that works for you during this season - shower, get dressed, and prepare yourself for the day. If you are still able to work, adjust your expectations as to what it may look like right now and do the best at it that you can do. Find new ways to engage with friends and family. Find new sources of entertainment and/or new hobbies. Take control of your own safety and what that looks like for you, such as limited social interactions, use good hygiene, follow CDC guidelines. And then, try to release things out of your control, such as: the attitudes and behaviors of others, CDC and government rulings, job transitions/changes, or the opinions and beliefs of others. Doing this isn’t always easy (if ever). If you can’t get your mind to stop thinking about what you can’t control, try using a healthy distraction, such as journaling or exercise, to release built up emotions.

4. Validate.

I’ve heard people say, “this is nothing compared to the great depression” or compare the Coronavirus pandemic to some other historic tragic event. Constantly comparing our experience to other tragic events can cause us to invalidate our own emotions and experience. It’s ok to have whatever experience YOU are having, and just as rightly so for someone else to have THEIR experience. Learning to validate others and ourselves, allows us to admit our emotions, and not suppress them. Suppressing emotions can lead to significant other issues, such as depression or increased anxiety. When we suppress and pretend it’s not there, IT’S STILL THERE! Instead we act it out in some way. Validating someone does not mean we have to agree and have their same experience, but it does show empathy and “hey, I’m here with you and it’s ok for you to have your experience.” Learn to check in with yourself and others, to notice how you/they are feeling (without judgement), and then deal with those emotions and experiences as needed. Unfortunately, even if we think we “shouldn’t feel that way”, the truth is, we still do, and it needs cared for.

5. Self-care.

What does your self-care look like? That is, how are your giving back to yourself to “rejuvenate you” to be able to deal and manage the daily stressors of family, work, school, and the coronavirus pandemic? We must take care of ourselves if we want to keep giving to the needs around us. You’ve heard it before, but I will say it again, “you can’t give from an empty cup.” Self-care will look different for each one of us, but I encourage you, find simple ways everyday to do something nice for yourself. Maybe it’s a special cup of coffee in the morning for ten minutes alone before the kids wake up, or going on regular walks to keep moving. It’s important to be intentional, schedule this time in, and find a way to make it work. Often, if we don’t schedule it in or use intentionality, we will not do it. I also encourage you to look at the quality of your self-care, versus the quantity. Scrolling through Facebook and Instagram while the TV is going, kids are screaming, and your spouse is trying to talk to you, may not be the best quality of self-care. Give yourself permission to take care of you, so you can take care of everything else you need to. Find ways to get creative and really identify what makes you feel good and at more peace.

I hope you found a few of these tips helpful and easy to implement in your daily lives as we continue to cope with the ongoing coronavirus pandemic.

Wishing all of you more peace, comfort, and gratitude.